And they mock us for chasing our own tails.

Holy schnikes, now they're all coming out of the woodwork! Though some of The One Called Elena's long-lost friends engage in talents that make more sense to me than others. Take The One Called Proteus, who apparently used to drive around in a red mini-van in a floppy pair of khahki shorts and nothing else, crooning R &B songs and looking for trees to climb. That, of course, is okay with me, as I love Smooth Jams and am inspired by anyone who tries to scale arbors despite their declawed-ness.

But, the thing is, 10 years after their tender adolescence together, The One Called Proteus has spent the past 4.5 months walking in a meandering line, from the state of said adolescence up, up, up to a big mountain at the tip of the Eastern Seaboard. And he's just over halfway there!!!! Hiking the Apple-Lunching Trail, the humans call it. Baffling to me, as baffling as those humans called "joggers," who run away, even though nobody is chasing them. And they have less legs than me! Weirdos.

Still, big ups to The One Called Proteus (who is also called the much less cat-like "Kevin") and his Incredible Journey. Hope there's plenty of apples to lunch on at the end of your travels. And view a photo of him, below: