Charlene SMAASH!!!!!

Yo. I would apologize for not posting in while, but 1) I'm a cat and cats don't do that apology thing, 2) nobody reads this thing anyway and c) it really doesn't matter 'cause I can blame it on the 'roids. Yes, you heard it right; I'm on Canseco's special juice to cure me of my cat asthma. The One Called Elena and The Other One keep shoving these pills down my throat, which I resist using an expertly done series of cat martial arts moves that I like to call "squirming." I have a black belt in squirming. This, of course, is enhanced even more by the steroids.

The 'roids are also turning me into a hulkamaniac. I have been freaking out the humans by leaping on to the bed (an impossible task, pre-'roid, due to my lack of one back leg and removed claws). Drugs are so cool. Stay tuned. I might just grow another leg.

So, a few briefs about the life I've been living:
-- The One Called Elena's folks came in to town and tried to visit me. Not much to report, because I ran and hid pretty quick. They're weird. But The One Called Elena says that, earlier in the visit, everybody got drunk and sang Karaoke with something called The Sleaze. The Mother of the One Called Elena apparently brought the house down with some singing or other nonsense. Whatever.

--I have developed a squinty eye that The One Called Elena has to smear cream in. The minute one eye heals, the other one starts getting squinty. Hahahahahahahhaha.

--This house is unbearably hot and I am afraid of the fan. Also, much shedding.

Goodbye.