Feliz Navidon't.

Hola, Chumps. Long time no Charlene. I know it's been awhile and that, in my absence, many of you have had aneurisms from all the longing and pining for me, but you know what they say: shut up.

Anyway, to make you feel a little bit better, I've written a festive song for your human holidays. If I were you, I'd take off work and read the lyrics several thousand times, making sure that they're memorized in time for Crispmousse or ChakaKhan or whatever the hell you people celebrate in December. So learn these words well and then join hands and sing them around the Jesus Eggs or the Reindeer Pate, or the Holy Candles of Panty Claws, or whatever.

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHARLENE

written by Charlene M.W. Jackson

produced by Charlene

released on Charlene records

performed by Charlene and the Charlene Charlenes.