Roit! Part II

In the midnight hour, babe!, she cried "More, more, more!"

The Sexiest Man in Popular Culture

(no, T.O.C.E.'s cousin, it ain't Davy Jones)

One Melancholy Norseman-- (+)

One OlSkool Hoodie (x)

Two Double Knit Pant (\)

Six-and-a-Half Feet of Gangly Moves = Happy T.O.C.E.

I'm thinking of embarking on a career in hip-hop.

iSuck.

Cereally, comrades-- one of the reasons that I've left your sadsack hearts in the lurch these past several weeks is because The Other gave you-know-who a very engaging holiday gift. Engaging for humans, that is. Where I would spend the hours rapt in intelligent thought over a gift of, say, Advanced Weight and Hairball Management or a pen top that I can chew, T.O.C.E. is plum obsessed with a tiny, shiny black box with little white strings shooting out of it. I've shunned cat toys that were bigger than this thing. But, for some reason, said shiny box forces her to sit at the 'puter til her back is sore, scrolling around, entering her credit card number at all hours, and occasionally muttering something like "What was the name of that Tigra and Bunny song they used to play at Dazzles Roller rink?" She then pays a human pittance for said songs, and forces me to listen to it while she dances around, nearly stepping on the precious three legs that I have left.

Alas, the black box and its online acoutrements are much smarter than T.O.C.E. For some reason, they keep trying to force a Willie Nelson song on her that she swears she never paid for. Today, she went online to find all her stupid songs missing. Instead of figuring out the problem, she simply started downloading more to her blank account. She then realized that she'd opened a second iloons account under The Other's log-in name, and now can figure out to get whatever the hell today's throwback asshat hits are over to her "playlist."

I swear, it was less annoying when she just walked around the house humming TV show theme songs to herself.

Wait, no it wasn't.

Excuses for Why I haven't Posted in Months

Pick your favorite one, or mix-n-match, like Grranimals!

1) An unexpected bout of late-onset cat illiteracy
2) And I wouldn't be blogging now, if it weren't for you pesky kids!
3) Even tripods get the blues
4) Global Warming
5) I took a 1200-hour siesta
6) I was breaking in my new cat bed
7) I was bringing sexy back
8) I was conducting a prayer vigil for the cat called BBKing
9) I was in an ire-induced coma
10) I was in training for my new spokesperson gig
11) Jury duty
12) Spontaneous vomiting brought on by T.O.C.E.'s covers of the Dreamgirls soundtrack
13) Shut up
14) The One Called C.apeshit needed to learn the virtue that is patience
15) T.O.C.E. flattened me with a deadly pun.
16) The Bossanova, with its magic spell
17) The Great Blog Drought of Ought-Six
18) The Other accidentally dumped the computer out the window trying to send an attachment
19) This