Oh Yeah.

Forgot to mention that, about a month ago, T.O.C.E. trudged a few blocks in negative temps to excercise her rights as an Iowan: she caucused.

While she had fun with her fellow Patriots, all of whom were cramped into an elementary school gym for over two hours, she couldn't help but notice that the Republicans down the hall wrapped up the whole process in, like, a sixth of the time. That said, the long-ass wait to have her vote (unscientifically) counted did give her time to take many blurry photos of...uh...kind of absolutely nothing. I will try to provide captions that are at least a little bit entertaining.


Below is the closest T.O.C.E. could get to a wide shot of the 720 souls crowded into the Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Elementary gym. Not-so-interesting fact about Iowa City: many of its quaint little grammar schools are named after famous writers: Twain, Longfellow, Nietzsche. Just kidding about that last one. Speaking of writers, can any of you spot the Pullitzer Prize Winner in this photo? Hint: he's seated in the third row. He was one of the 400-plus caucusers for Obama.

This guy looks a lot like Dennis Kucinich, but he isn't. He's sort of like the Grand Poobah of T.O.C.E.'s Caucus Moose Lodge. According to him, this precinct was the largest Democratic stronghold in all of Iowa in '04, and had increased by 200 people this time around. When he said this, T.O.C.E. began to feel very important. And also very claustrophobic.

And doesn't this guy down here look like Joe Biden? Why Biden is caucusing for Obama, I'll never know. Along with Biden, Kucinich and the Pullitzer guy, T.O.C.E.'s baker, hairdresser, and Pilates teacher were also present.

Note the blue card in fake-Joe-Biden's hand. This is how Iowans caucus, people. Don't let the high-tech Anderson Cooper coverage fool you. Out in the corn, this shiznit is about as organized as a county cakewalk. Everybody got a card with a number from 1-20 on it, then they had to form lines and count themselves by hand. All these numbers were then tabulated by loud yelling.

Okay, so after the first count, the real caucus magic began, when all the supporters candidates who didn't score enough votes (Richardson, Dodd, Me) filed into the gym. Then all of Edwards' (RIP), Clinton's, and Obama's folks tried to steal them.

Since that whole blue card thing ended up not really working, for this second count, caucusers tried to count themselves by raising their hands and going through the room, putting down then hand and yelling out a number in a somewhat orderly fashion. And did I mention that there were 720 PEOPLE DOING THIS?!?! Luckily, some of the Obama constituents started passing out string cheese and little Obama cookies. Needless to say, he took the majority of support. Edwards came in a close second, and Clinton had just enough votes to slide by.

Thoroughly jazzed from her night of down-home politicking, T.O.C.E. came home and told me all about it. I responded by making this face, which trained mimes will tell you means "big frigging whoop."

...aaaaand scene.