Very. Bad. News.
Well, bad news for me, at least. And bad news to anyone that T.O.C.E. speaks to. She's found something to obsess over. That something is called THE SONGY CHALLENGE.
Jump in the wayback machine with old Charlene for a moment, and we'll travel to last month, where T.O.C.E., alone (I was under the bed and the Other One Was in a distant state) and without cable. Aha! She discovers that Iowa City has a terrific public access television station. Perhaps there will be videos of kids' dance recitals-- those are always good for a laugh or a tear, depending on her sobriety.
But that is not what comes on the human TV.
No.
It is a television show that features only one human, a skinny blond one with googly eyes who films himself from the neck up, and 'challenges" various pop ditties versus random objects in his apartment. It is stupid, if you have a brain like mine. If your brain is the lonely brain of T.O.C.E., it is brilliant.
Some of the challenges:
Klezmer Music vs. Footage of his Iguana Shedding
Beeethoven's 5th vs. Changing the Channels with the TV on Mute
Scary Early David Bowie Song vs. A Bruise on his Arm
Be Good Tanya's Song vs. Soulfully Screaming Into the Camera
Radio Song (Creed?) vs. Inside of a Red Pepper
Again, because of her brain, she cannot remember the channel nor the time she saw it. So, at a party a few days later, as she describes it to her new classmates, they sort of stare at her like the whole thing never really happened. Or that it happened inside that brain of hers. I do not blame them. I mean, she's talking about a show that she thinks is called 'Songy Challenge.'
As a rural Virginia principal once said to T.O.C.E.'s Jewish buddy, when he tried to get an excused absence for Yom Kippur, "Now that just sounds made up."
Then The Other One Arrived from his exile, and she raved and raved about the googly-eyed man in the TV box. He was more than a little worried. He looked at me. "Don't blame me," I scoffed with my eyes. She sat glued to the TV in hopes that the program would air and she could show it to him. She begged me to gain the powers of human speech, so I could verify it's actuality. One evening, The Other One went out to a Bar For Writing Weirdo Plays. The minute his car pulled away, the googly eyes of Mister Songy Challenge appeared on the TV, as if he were waiting to get T.O.C.E. alone.
Things are looking up, however. She found a website with a realplayer movie of the show (http://www.patv.tv/producers.html, scroll down to see SONGY CHALLENGE) and she even met a guy who went to high school with Mister Googly Eyes (whose human name is Jamal), thus proving his existence.
Still, her obsession continues, and we around her shudder and shrink.
Jump in the wayback machine with old Charlene for a moment, and we'll travel to last month, where T.O.C.E., alone (I was under the bed and the Other One Was in a distant state) and without cable. Aha! She discovers that Iowa City has a terrific public access television station. Perhaps there will be videos of kids' dance recitals-- those are always good for a laugh or a tear, depending on her sobriety.
But that is not what comes on the human TV.
No.
It is a television show that features only one human, a skinny blond one with googly eyes who films himself from the neck up, and 'challenges" various pop ditties versus random objects in his apartment. It is stupid, if you have a brain like mine. If your brain is the lonely brain of T.O.C.E., it is brilliant.
Some of the challenges:
Klezmer Music vs. Footage of his Iguana Shedding
Beeethoven's 5th vs. Changing the Channels with the TV on Mute
Scary Early David Bowie Song vs. A Bruise on his Arm
Be Good Tanya's Song vs. Soulfully Screaming Into the Camera
Radio Song (Creed?) vs. Inside of a Red Pepper
Again, because of her brain, she cannot remember the channel nor the time she saw it. So, at a party a few days later, as she describes it to her new classmates, they sort of stare at her like the whole thing never really happened. Or that it happened inside that brain of hers. I do not blame them. I mean, she's talking about a show that she thinks is called 'Songy Challenge.'
As a rural Virginia principal once said to T.O.C.E.'s Jewish buddy, when he tried to get an excused absence for Yom Kippur, "Now that just sounds made up."
Then The Other One Arrived from his exile, and she raved and raved about the googly-eyed man in the TV box. He was more than a little worried. He looked at me. "Don't blame me," I scoffed with my eyes. She sat glued to the TV in hopes that the program would air and she could show it to him. She begged me to gain the powers of human speech, so I could verify it's actuality. One evening, The Other One went out to a Bar For Writing Weirdo Plays. The minute his car pulled away, the googly eyes of Mister Songy Challenge appeared on the TV, as if he were waiting to get T.O.C.E. alone.
Things are looking up, however. She found a website with a realplayer movie of the show (http://www.patv.tv/producers.html, scroll down to see SONGY CHALLENGE) and she even met a guy who went to high school with Mister Googly Eyes (whose human name is Jamal), thus proving his existence.
Still, her obsession continues, and we around her shudder and shrink.
posted by Charlene at 1:53 PM
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